My life is absolutely great! I am happy with everything. I love my family and friends to death! I love myself. I am proud of myself for completing university. And now I am looking for a career. Is that what's missing? Finding a job I enjoy doing? I don't know. But I feel like something BIG is missing in my life. I don't know what it is, nor am I going to ponder upon it. But I hope that someday I won't feel that "gap" in my life.

I am single. I have been single for a YEAR and 2 MONTHS now. However, I must admit, I was dating, its just that nothing went beyond the first date though, because I am not impressed.

I guess my past relationships haven't been so great that I tend to run away or keep my distance when a man treats me like a QUEEN.

I am always wondering, does he want sex in return? or maybe even a relationship? Well, I've realized that there are some guys who are just sincere and would love to help a woman out when they see her in pain or a time of need.

I tend to freak out when I get close to a guy or when there is an instant immediate emotional connection. I feel like if its too perfect, then there MUST be something wrong. With this mentality, I feel like I have let a lot of good men go.

There were so many men, who would give me the world, but I simply wasn't interested or the TIMING wasn't right. Such as, recent break up or finding out that you have been cheated and lied to.

I am not perfect. Nor am I a perfect girlfriend, but I do try my BEST. I am loyal, honest, loving, caring, smart, funny, crazy, hyper and outgoing.

A lot of people ask me why I am single. Now, my answer is I CHOOSE to BE.

Whatever happens....happens.

I just wish people stop pressuring me into relationships or setting me up on dates.

Like seriously, do I need a man to make me happy?

I don't think so.

I am happy.

Nonetheless, sharing my happiness with the opposite sex would make me happier.

Ha! I think I just confused myself! OH WELL....lol

Throughout my life...I have been in TWO RELATIONSHIPS, or so I thought. Last week, I found out that I been lied to and worst yet... cheated on. My family, friends and even God send me many signals that I was being fooled, but I chose to ignore it. But, today I am glad that I know everything. I have finally gotten closure, something I have been passionately seeking for all these years. So what can I do now? Learn from my mistakes, put my past behind and move on to a better and brighter future. Maybe this time, I won't be as naive or manipulated, but regardless I am going to take on an advice my good friend gave me, that is : LEAVE ROOM FOR DISAPPOINTMENTS!

For now, I think I am going to cherish every moment of the single life and who knows one day, the prince charming or simply...just a good man will come my way and treat me the way I should be treated. I am keeping my head up, looking straight into the future and enjoying every minute of every breath I take.

Before I end this, I want to give a shout out to my EX's: Thank you!!!!!!!! You have showed me that I am the bigger and better person! One day, when Judgement Day comes.....don't be surprised of the outcome. Because what comes around, goes around. I am not cursing you, just letting you that one day you will be treated the same way you treated me!

GOOD BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...for GOOD!

I take you for granted.

I don’t say I love you everyday even though I am thinking it.

I talk back to you when I am mad, but don’t thank you when I am happy.

No matter what I’ve done, I feel the love you have for me deep inside.

I hear you praising about my accomplishments to others, but not me.

I wondered why and realized it was because you always want me to keep on pushing.

I have made mistakes, we didn’t see eye to eye, but regardless I heard you whispering about how much you love me.

Even though I have disappointed you, you always had hope that I will always be your little girl.

But guess what dad? I am and always will be because blood runs thicker than water.

And there is no other man I love as much as I do you.

You are my hero, the man who has stood by me and saved me from harm.

Sorry for the mistakes I have done and if I had hurt you in the process.

I want to be your hero also, the one to love and take care of you when you are unable to.

Be patient daddy, I am young and still growing.

I am still in the journey to self realization

Breaking up with you was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life, but it had to be done.

Imagining a life without you is possible, but it won’t be fulfilling.

Since I could no longer have you, I needed someone else to take your place.

Overwhelmed with hurt, I turned to someone who made me feel wanted.

He wasn’t my first choice, but he was there during my time of need.

Blinded by his physique and charm, I gave him the little love I had left.

He took it, abused it, and gave it someone else other than me.

Believing his words and holding onto the physical connection, I avoided the warning signs and ran the red light.

Now I am sitting here feeling abused and used both emotionally and physically and no one to feel my pain.

I turn to the next best thing: My family and friends.

Their understanding, forgiveness, love, care and support pulled me through.

I was finally able to regain the self confidence and feel loved on a whole new level.

The puzzle was almost completed, but not fully, because the last piece of the puzzle was missing.

I knew there and then, I’d never be completely happy unless I had you, but I was too stubborn to come back.

The day came when I received a call at work and realized it was you.

My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, I was lost for words, yet I had the biggest and brightest smile on my face.

I thought the prophecy was fulfilled: “If you love someone, let them go, if they come back, it was meant to be.”

I was waiting anxiously for your arrival and making plans and thinking of lies just so I can spend that special moment with you that I had been waiting a lifetime for.

All my hopes, dreams and plans were crushed when on my birthday the only thing/person I wished for didn’t show up.

I had to start building a wall around my fragile heart, but that was destroyed when you dropped the bomb that you were getting married.

I pretended like I was happy for you but deep inside I was crying, yelling, screaming and hating you for playing games with my heart.

I wanted you to leave and be gone for good, so I started to pick a fight.

As always, it was successful. You were gone within a second and I refused to ever get close with you.

Instead of admiring the love we shared, I held every mistake you ever made against you, so that the getting over process would be much easier. And it worked!

Now, every word that flows out of yours or any other man’s mouth, I don’t believe. I turn away from physical beauty and charm and threw away the key to my heart.

My heart is well protected, well nourished and restored.

I just hope that one day, someone else would be able to find the key to my heart and show me the love I deserve without causing pain and hurt in the process.

The mirror is broken, I can no longer can identify myself, all I see is bits and pieces everywhere on the bedroom floor.